When you look at guys doing stand-up comedy like Kevin Hart and Chris Rock, it all looks so effortless and natural.
The timing of their jokes…
Their facial expressions…
The stories they tell…
But what you see on stage isn’t natural at all. It’s a performance that’s been honed for weeks, months, or even years, by testing out material at small comedy clubs unannounced.
There, in front of 20 people, they’ll try out a new joke.
If it bombs, they’ll scrap it.
If it gets a laugh, they’ll keep it.
So, the key ingredient for a legendary comedy routine isn’t “humour” necessarily, or a talent for being on stage.
It’s feedback.
All great comedians know this, and are masters at a) getting feedback, and b) receiving it.
Something similar goes on in the world of work, too.
Look at the people who’ve accomplished the most in your field, and chances are, they’ve received (and improved upon) a TON of feedback to get there.
What you see isn’t the raw lump of coal they were at the start of their career – you’re seeing the glittering, polished diamond at the end.
So, given how important feedback is…
How do you get & receive it?
That’s what we’re gonna cover today - let’s go.
🦁 Attack Dog or Appreciative?
You offer the tiiiiiniest suggestion for doing things differently, and they bite your head off. I call these people Attack Dogs, and they all have the same effect:
You never give them feedback again.
A lot of people are like this, and it’s why they get nowhere in their careers.
(I used to be way too defensive about feedback too. It wasn’t until I realized I was stunting my growth that I changed my ways.)
If you want to receive more, and higher quality feedback, be appreciative instead of an attack dog.
Because if you make the other person feel great about giving you feedback, guess what? They’re going to give you more in future.
The lesson: Show people that you’re coachable.
🙋🏻♂️ Make the first move
When you do something out of choice rather than having it forced upon you, your body reacts in a totally different way. (For example, voluntarily going to Toastmasters vs. being forced to give a speech.)
The same’s true with feedback.
If you ask for harsh feedback, you’ll be far less defensive than if you have to wait for harsh feedback to come to you.
The lesson: Be open to asking for feedback.
📊 Ask for a 0-10 score.
It's hard to get honest feedback because people tend to be polite! So sometimes you have to ask for it in a way that shows you're comfortable with receiving it.
If you’re struggling to get feedback when you ask for it, try this:
When you’ve finished a project/task, ask for a score between 0 and 10.
No-one will say 10, so ask them how you can get closer to 10.
If you did this every week of the year, you’d have 50-odd data points for improving your craft. That’s the difference between being pretty good and great.
(h/t I got this tip from organizational psychologist Adam Grant)
📅 Schedule it
Set up a time with your boss where you can talk about your performance, and ask how you can improve. Your boss will be impressed with your initiative, and it’s often a nice segue to discussing promotions.
If you can find out the qualities at the level above you, and start showing them, you’ll be a solid pick when the promotion rolls around.
🙅🏻♂️ Disclaimer: All feedback isn’t created equal
Now, this doesn't mean all feedback is going to be helpful. It's your job to take in all the feedback you get, but also think about who you're getting it from.
If you wanted to be a stand-up comedian, but asked someone who's sensitive to the jokes you like, they'd probably say they hate it. That feedback isn't really useful, because it's not coming from your target audience. Humor’s subjective.
Similarly (and slightly controversial), sometimes your friends and family aren't the right people to give you feedback, even though they might be the easiest to ask.
Why? Because they care about you. They don't want to hurt your feelings. So they might hold back on giving you the tough love you need to improve.
The point is, take in all the feedback you get as data points, but choose what you want to use. Not all feedback is good feedback!
And we're done! I hope this changes the way you look at feedback and inspires you to start seeking it out more. Most of us fear asking for it, but changing that is key to a great career.
