Picture it:
It’s 2014, and while you’re waiting at the bus station, you buy a copy of Forbes magazine (as you do), and see, emblazoned on the cover, Elizabeth.
Young, ambitious and driven…
Elizabeth is the youngest self-made female billionaire in history. (In fact, she might even be the first.)
And while you should be awed and #inspired by her success, you can’t help but think of how terrible your own life is.
After all, YOU haven’t founded a revolutionary biotech company.
YOU haven’t earned billions of dollars.
And you’re not on the cover of Forbes.
“Wow, do I suck?” we think.
Then, because you really hate yourself, you open up the magazine and take a peek at the Forbes 30 under 30 list.
Uh-oh.
Here’s a guy called Sam.
He’s not even 31, and he’s already built a crypto exchange, bought a penthouse in the Bahamas, and has a net-worth of $26 billion dollars.
How many crypto exchanges and Caribbean penthouses do YOU have?
I mean, c’mon…
What is wrong with you?!
Years later, still wallowing in pity, you switch on the TV.
The headlines blare:
“THERANOS FOUNDER ELIZABETH HOLMES
SENTENCED TO 11 YEARS FOR DEFRAUDING INVESTORS!!!”
Wait a sec.
Elizabeth?
Another headline comes in:
“SAM BANKMAN-FRIED UNDER FIRE FOR SCAMMING $10 BILLION.”
Wait a minute.
Is that you, Sam?
Ok, ok. I admit - I’m trolling a bit here (and also getting the timeline wrong by quite a few years).
But let’s be real here.
Elizabeth Holmes and SBF were both featured in the most prestigious lists and magazines on the planet. And it was very easy to look at their careers, and think, “Wow, I’m doing nothing with my life.”
Only, both of them turned out to be frauds…
And the accolades and success they had weren’t real.
And when you scratch beneath the surface of a lot of “influencers” and “entrepreneurs”, you’ll find similar webs of lies.
(Chris Bakke points out that Forbes 30 Under 30 has collectively raised $5.3 billion, but been arrested for frauds and scams of over $18.5 billion. 😬)
And that brings me to this edition of Coached.
Today, I’m going to argue that when you see uber-successful people on these high-falutin lists, your first instinct SHOULDN’T be “Wow. My life sucks,” but, “Hmm, what’s going on here?”
Let’s go.
💳 They’re pay to play
Do some digging and you’ll quickly realize:
Shiny lists with prestigious accolades aren’t organic. They’re often just pay-to-play marketing opportunities. “Pay us X, and we’ll put you on the list.” That’s how a lot of PR works.
Sahil spills the beans on how some make it on Forbes 30 under 30!
=> Many people you see in the spotlight are paying to be there. They’re often “fake” signals.
This goes the same for ALL press. Here’s a real email I got from a PR firm selling spots on sites like Yahoo, Entrepreneur and Forbes.
If you’re curious just how much they charge, see this leaked list from an actual PR firm. A dedicated CNN or Wall Street Journal costs $25k, while the most expensive feature is a spot on the Times 100 Most Influential People of 2025 for a price of…$150k(!):
Insane.
(Part of the reason this exists is traditional media is dying. Less eyeballs → less ad money → need to scrape money from other ways)
🎥 The fame filter
All media to a certain extent is like a filter. The people you see are the people who try the hardest to be seen.
These “celebs,” “influencers” and “thought leaders”... they’re not necessarily the making the biggest impact, or the genuine trailblazers in their field. They’re those willing to do whatever it takes (i.e for some, that might mean lie) to get seen.
=> Being famous often means you're good at getting noticed, not necessarily doing well in your career.
And that brings us to another trap people fall into…
🎇 Chasing fame vs. creating real value
Somewhere along the way, many people (especially younger folks) started treating fame like the ultimate prize — TikTok stunts, viral pranks, or whatever it takes to blow up online.
But here’s the real question: fame for what?
Because there’s a difference between:
- Hype-based fame: shallow, short-lived, and usually driven by random antics, shock value, controversy or something explicit.
- Byproduct fame: the kind that comes when you do something valuable and people notice.
In general, don’t chase fame. But if you do, aim for the second one. Unfortunately, most people chase the first — which is fragile, fleeting, and leaves you empty. Plus, your audience won’t actually trust you, making it nearly impossible to build a real career on top of it.
If you catch yourself craving the spotlight, ask: “Am I striving to create real value first, or am I just after attention?” The first path leads somewhere fulfilling, while the second can be a never-ending loop of gimmicks.
📸 The Instagram effect
The majority of photos on popular Instagram accounts are edited.
(And if you don’t believe me, google “instagram vs reality pics” and see for yourself)
Similarly, a lot of professional posts on LinkedIn are inflated too.
And yet…
A lot of us are basing our self-worth based on how we stack up to these very “photos”.
My point: Don't let fancy lists and edited photos trick you into thinking you're not doing well. The real stuff happens off-screen.
🌏 There are infinite ways to “win”
One big reason we get hooked on brand names, influencer status, or big lists is that we assume success only looks one way. But the truth is, there are countless ways to crush it in your career — and 99% of them don’t require public accolades.
Maybe you:
- Carve out a unique niche within your department, mastering a skill no one else can match, and enjoying job security and autonomy on your terms.
- Start a niche consulting practice, quietly making more money and working fewer hours than some “famous” CEO.
- Launch a side hustle in your hometown that the world’s never heard of, but you love doing it, it pays your bills and lets you live the family life you want.
When you realize success can take infinite forms, you stop feeling jealous of Sam’s penthouse or Elizabeth’s magazine cover. You’re too busy building your version of a great life.
💼 It’s not always about “brand” names
I see people make the mistake of thinking the only good places to work at are the Facebook's, McKinsey's, and Google's of the world. And if they don't get into those, they've failed. But, honestly, this idea is way off.
Truth is, smaller, lesser-known companies offer much better chances to create real impact.
Imagine two product managers. One makes a huge impact at a not-so-famous company. The other? Well, you've probably seen those "day in the life" videos where some big tech employees seem to spend more time playing ping pong than doing work. Or just dealing with red tap 24×7.
What really matters is the work you're doing and if you enjoy it. Having a ton of responsibility and ownership at a smaller company will teach you more and set you up for an incredible career more than a brand name could ever do.
