Introverts often struggle with confidence. You know what you're talking about, but you second-guess yourself in meetings. You have good ideas but hesitate to share them. You feel awkward in social situations at work.
Here's the thing about confidence: it's both a feeling and a set of behaviors. Confident people stand tall, speak slowly, and stay calm under pressure. But it works in reverse too - when you stand tall, speak slowly, and stay calm, you start to feel more confident.
Your brain takes cues from your body and behavior. Act confident, and your brain assumes you must be confident.
So while building real confidence from the inside takes time, you can jumpstart the process by copying what confident people do.
Here’s how.
🔫 Be like Bond
At the start of Casino Royale, James Bond confronts a corrupt agent who pulls a gun on him. Bond doesn't flinch.
Confident people are less reactive. When something goes wrong, they pause instead of panicking.
And that brings me to the first principle of human behaviour I wanna share:
The more confident you are, the less reactive you are.
So if you want to feel (and appear) more confident? Simply train yourself to not emotionally react when things go south.
“The app just went down!!”, your colleague cries.
- Bad: “WHAT?! Are you kidding me?! Oh man, we’re screwed!
- Good: “Hmmm, ok. Lemme think about this.”
🧍 Your body doesn't lie
When we say people are "laid-back" or "uptight", we're describing their bodies as much as their personalities.
The mind is the body, and the body is the mind.
So, if you want a confident mind, build a confident body.
The most basic way of doing this? Work on your posture.
I say, "work on," because posture is not so much a habit, as it is a muscular imbalance. People with terrible posture almost always have tight pecs pulling their shoulders forward, and weak back muscles that can't pull their shoulders back.
If you want good posture, try a simple 10 minute exercise routine like this before & after work.
🐌 Slow down!
Think of guys like Steve Jobs, or your favourite TED talk. What do they have in common?
They speak slowly.
Why?
Because we don't take fast speech seriously. For his inaugural address, JFK slowed his speech down from his usual 150 words/minute to 100 words/minute.
Slow down! When you do, you'll relax more, exude more confidence, and be listened to more carefully - all good things.
⚖️ Say less, mean more
This is the introvert's advantage. If you only speak when you have something meaningful to say, people learn to pay attention when you do speak.
Don't fight your natural tendency to be selective with words. Use it. Quality over quantity makes every word carry more weight.
👕 Neil Patel’s wardrobe trick
So the story goes, one day marketer Neil Patel has a thought:
“Is dressing casual costing me in my career?”
So, he tests it. He splashes out on clothes, dresses to the nines, and goes about his days normally. What happens?
Surprise, surprise, more people want to do business with him. He gets more respect in random interactions. He feels better.
The lesson: A good wardrobe is probably good for your career.
Now, do NOT drop next month’s paycheck on a suit from Armani & a Rolex. My suggestion? Simply dress 25% sharper than you need to.
When you dress smart, people’ll treat you with more respect. And when you get more respect from other people, you start feeling more confident.
