Back in the day, I remember watching a Gary Vee clip where Gary said something I’ve never forgotten:
(paraphrasing)
“It’s kinda sad. Most people aren’t coming to me for business info, they’re just desperate for someone to give them permission to pursue their dreams. ”
And writing this newsletter, I totally get what Gary’s on about.
You see…
I love getting all your replies and questions (please keep them coming!). They're the reason I write these emails, trying to address the career challenges I read from you.
But one thing I’ve noticed is… Many people ask questions they already know the answer to! (They’re just looking for my support to go do it).
For example…
"I hate my job, my boss is toxic, and it's affecting my mental health. I’m not sure what to do. Help?"
→ Answer: Look for another job
“I REALLY want to start a side hustle, but I don’t feel I have the time. What should I do?”
→ Answer: Make time for the side hustle.
“I want to grow my network on LinkedIn, but I don’t know what to post about. What can I do?”
→ Answer: Write what you know about and love.
(oh and side note, optimize your LinkedIn first using this free tool)
See a pattern? The answers are often surprisingly simple. If a friend came to you with these problems, you'd probably give the same advice.
So why do we struggle to follow our own instincts?
🧿 The Trust Issue
I used to do this a lot. For each decision (even small ones), I'd ask EVERYONE for their opinion. But looking back, I realize I knew what felt right each time.
What’s crazy is:
Deep down, when we ask these things, we know the answer. But we want someone else’s input because…
We don’t trust our own judgment.
It’s a big problem.
If we need other people to make decisions for us, are we ever really in charge of our careers?
Worse, when we're always looking for input from others, we often end up stuck. We ask one person, then another, then another... get different opinions, and suddenly it’s analysis paralysis and we’re even more confused about what decision to take.
So what should you do instead>
👥 The Friend Test
For some reason, we’re all very good at identifying the solution to other people’s problems, but not so much our own.
This is actually really well documented — it’s called the Solomon Paradox: the idea that we’re much more of an expert when we distance ourselves from the situation.
The solution:
Pretend that your best friend’s in the situation that you’re in. What advice would you give them? Your ideas will probably be bang on.
(Try this now so you remember this technique: What’s a problem you’re currently facing right now? If it were your friend going through it, what would you tell them?)
👨🏻🏫 Act as your own mentor
Putting yourself in the shoes of a mentor can often be much more insightful than asking the mentor themselves.
An example:
Imagine you’re me. And you’re building a business like Resume Worded. But you’re stuck - and you don’t know what to focus on.
First, we’d choose a mentor. Let's say Jeff Bezos. He’s arguably one of the most successful business people of all time. I’ve also read his biography, and he is always harping on about making the best possible customer experience at Amazon.
So, let's imagine what Jeff Bezos would say if we asked him how to grow our business:
- "Look, the key is to obsess over your customers. What's their biggest pain point right now? What's the one thing that, if you solved it, would make their experience 10x better? Focus on that. Don't get distracted by what's trendy. Just solve that one problem better than anyone else."
And honestly, that's probably exactly what he'd say! It’s like I just got free consulting from the best in the world.
=> Do this for any question you have. Imagine an expert you admire. That might be your wise granny who always gives great advice, a past mentor, a celebrity, etc - what would they say? It's not about getting their actual advice, but tapping into your own knowledge from a different perspective.
🥷🏿 You are the expert
Why do we always turn to others for answers?
Simple. We think they're smarter than us. That they know stuff that we don’t.
And sure, sometimes that's true. Your doctor knows more about medicine. Your mechanic knows more about cars.
But what about your life? Your career?
Think about it. Who knows your situation inside out? Who understands your goals, your fears, your strengths, your wants?
You do. You are factually the expert.
Even your mentors, as wise as they are, aren’t.
=> Remember: We've got way more knowledge and capability than we think. So, trust your expertise!
🫀 Trust (and train) your gut
Usually, gut instincts are spot on.
Why? They're not made with the limited processing power of your conscious mind, but with the vast power of your subconscious.
=> So, what does your gut say?
Ask yourself: What does my gut tell me? What feels right based on my experiences and knowledge? what feels right, even if it scares you a bit?
That last part is key. Often, what we think is fear is actually our gut pushing us towards growth.
Trusting your gut is like a muscle. The more you use it, the stronger it gets.
🙋 So should I never ask for help?
Not at all!
Definitely ask for help. Getting input is valuable, especially for big
decisions. Multiple perspectives will broaden your thinking.
But use advice to supplement your judgment, not replace it.
The more we rely on someone else to make decisions for us, our own decision-making skills get weak, and we become dependent on them.
Which sucks because we already know the answers. All we’re missing is the courage to act.
I hope that gives you a toolkit to handle pretty much any decision you’re faced with. And that you got a few laughs along the way.