In today's Mentor's Corner, let's talk about something we all feel but rarely admit: that twinge of jealousy when someone else succeeds. I'll share why this uncomfortable emotion might actually be one of your most valuable career tools.

Before we begin... from our research team.

This is Coached Weekly, my career notes where I share the tiny % of ideas that actually work in real careers. It takes 5 minutes to read, but could speed up your career by years. I write this myself and I read your replies. —Rohan Mahtani (LinkedIn)

How to get better feedback

A small thing I've learned about feedback: general requests ("Any feedback?") almost always produce vague, generic responses ("Yeah, it was great!"). If you want useful input, get specific.

For example, instead of "Feedback on my presentation?", say something like "Did my answer about pricing sound defensive? Feel free to be blunt." When you pinpoint a specific moment and explicitly encourage honesty, people give you feedback you can actually use.

The career emotion we all feel but never discuss

You know what's weird?

How we're all supposedly adults, but still feel that stomach-drop moment when someone posts about their new promotion, dream house, or perfect relationship.

It's a mix of happiness for them, sure, but also that other feeling we don't like to admit. That twinge that makes you wonder: "Why not me?"

Jealousy is universal. The most successful people in the world feel it.

And it's biological — throughout human history, social standing directly impacted survival. Being excluded from the group could be life-threatening. So your brain evolved to constantly scan how you're doing relative to your peers. It's not rational in today's world, but it's deeply wired.

Which means you're not a bad person for feeling jealous. Your brain is just doing what it was designed to do.

The question is what you do with it once it shows up.

🧭 Jealousy is data

Most advice on jealousy is about suppressing it or "rising above it." I think that's backwards. Jealousy is one of the most useful signals you have — it points directly at what you actually want but aren't pursuing.

If a friend's promotion makes you envious, that's telling you career growth matters more to you than you've been admitting. If someone's work-life balance triggers it, maybe you need to look at your own boundaries.

I noticed this in myself. I’d often feel a twinge around people who'd built creative stuff — side projects, content or even just art. When I paid attention to it, it clarified that I needed more creative expression in my work – something I'd been neglecting.

Next time you feel it, don't push it away. Ask: what is this actually about?

🔍 Catch the feeling, then use it

First, try to notice your jealousy in the moment — before it turns into resentment or self-pity.

A simple practice: when you feel that twinge, label it. Just "there's jealousy." That tiny bit of distance is enough to stop you from reacting on autopilot — pulling someone down in your head, dismissing their achievement, or spiraling into why you're behind.

Once you've labeled it, challenge it. Replace the jealous thought by consciously thinking something like, “if they can do it, why can’t I?” or, “Impressive. How can I learn from this person?”

This is hard at first. But do it enough times and it becomes a habit. And the best way to make it a habit is to become a student, not a hater.

For example:

Show some humility, give the other person props, and ask them how they did it.

👥 Actually root for them (not just pretend to)

There's a practical trick here that sounds cheesy but works: actively support the person you're jealous of. Not just saying the right things while internally feeling bitter. Actually help them out, congratulate them properly, share their work — find joy in their achievement.

It's hard to stay jealous of someone you're actively supporting. Your brain has to pick one feeling, and action usually wins.

🪞 What you envy might make you miserable

One last thing worth remembering: the position you envy might require sacrifices you wouldn't actually want to make if you saw the full picture.

That person with the huge promotion? Maybe they haven't seen their kids at bedtime in months. The person with the dream startup? Maybe they're running on fumes and anxiety. You're always comparing your behind-the-scenes to their highlight reel — and you already know this, but it's easy to forget in the moment.

When I catch myself in comparison mode, I try to pause and ask: do I actually want what they have, or do I just want the version of it I've invented in my head?

Usually it's the second one.

If you want help figuring out what you're actually good at and where to direct that energy, try our Coached personality assessment here — it really is a good starting point for cutting through the noise.

Hopefully that’s a piece of advice you haven’t heard before. If you enjoyed this:

Speak soon,

Rohan Mahtani
Founder at Coached & Resume Worded

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